I just hit send and told T what I've known for a while but have been too afraid to say.

I have an ED. I have lost a lot of weight. I am seeing a dietitian and have my T. I was doing okay there for a while (a month or so) but have fallen back into old habits (ie, coping mechanisms).

I admitted to T that if he told me I was small enough and pretty enough then I would believe him. That I've been hoping and waiting for him to do that -- somehow. And that if he did say that I would know it was the truth because that's not something he's allowed to say. It goes way, way beyond just seeking his approval . . .

Oh boy -- tell me I did the right thing? Or whatever the truth is . . .