Hi Lightbulb7, I'm so glad you made it threw these issues. I can relate with you so much. It gets a whole lot better. At first it is tough but gets better and better. I am so content most of the time now, think so different, but it wasn't easy as you know. I turned to god also. I was so alone and my prayers were answered, and the strange thing is I knew they would be after a while. They were answers that came to my life that I would not have known before. I had no where else to turn. But, like you feel I found this forum because it was meant to be. Hang in there you are a fighter my friend.