I'm wondering if it's just about T's H? What if she DID tell you more about him? Would that be enough? Would you then want to know about her brothers and sisters? Her parents? Her cousins? Her best friend? Her classmates in college?

Is her husband just symbolic of the fact that you and T can never be friends in the way you want?

I think she's doing a great job by keeping up boundaries. How would you really feel if you saw that she was loose with other people's private lives? Would you like her to be that way? Would you admire someone who casually broke other people's boundaries? Sharing info about her H WOULD be crossing his boundary. Would she seem like a very trustworthy person then?

You say T shuts you out. Would you like your sessions to be her sharing every facet of her life? Would all that knowledge be enough for you? And how would it feel when you discover she's just as imperfect as the rest of us? How would it be if you discovered that she suffers from anxiety or depression? Would that change your opinion of her? Would she no longer be the person you so desperately want to be close to?

Right now she presents as an ideal. She's ideal in that she gives you all of her attention. That's what's so great about the therapist/client relationship. We get all the focus and that feels good AND since they're trained helpers in the realm of our emotions, it feels doubly good.

Rainbow, so sorry that you have to face such tough emotions. And I know that logical thinking does not solve the issues. But, I think, the more we allow logic to be part of the equation, the more our emotions may come into line.

My T told me today that we have 2 spheres of relating - with the emotional brain and the rational brain. The two need to work in tandem. We cannot lead healthy lives if we work predominantly from one arena or the other. Where those 2 circles intersect is called the 'wise mind' and that's where we strive to live.

I wish you luck in finding that place as I wish for all of us.