Quote:
Originally Posted by cboxpalace
1. This is not about being brave
2. This is not about whether a person has the right to talk or not, obviously they do.
3. Whether a person walking away is rude or not is a matter of perception. You view it as rude, and I view as they are potentially keeping themselves mentally healthy.
Everything, in what I wrote was completely relevant and should be given thought rather than ignored. There are many people, me being one, that have issues with people creating theatrics/drama. A person like me that would choose to walkaway would be far better than the alternative.
Be brave, say what you want, but don't base how you feel on others reactions. If you have issues with them then address them rather than go behind their back and take it up with the group leader. The other members in that group are just as mentally ill, and they have to put their well being before that of others.
Pretty much everything you wrote is irrelevant to what I wrote. This is also NOT about speaking. The issue at hand was.... she felt it was disrespectful or something to that affect with others getting up and going for coffee. I gave specific reasons as to why that may be occurring, and they have a right to do so if they feel they need to. Now, as I see it she has one of two options.
1. Ignore everything I've written. (not a good idea in my opinion, but it doesn't affect me so I don't care).
2. Think about it and decide if there may be any relevance in what I said. This seems to be the wiser of the two.
Regardless... The moral of the story is this.. NOT everyone is going to like you, and you'll be constantly letdown if you base how you feel on the reactions of a few. It's better to focus on the ones that appreciate what is being said, as opposed to those that choose to walkaway.
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Cbox, I understand what you are saying and am not ignoring you, nor am I attempting to cause drama. One of the things that is at the heart of my BPD is in the inability to perceive things as they are or to determine someone's intentions towards me. My behaviors are learned from a mother who constantly and consistently punished or ignored me whenever I attempted to express my feelings. Maybe I cannot base by current experiences on my past ones, but that is what I fight everyday. I have said on this forum many times that I know how I feel but do not have the ability to discern how others feel, therefore I lack the ability to competently relate or associate with them. Does that mean I should give up trying? Certainly not, but that doesn't mean that others have the right to invalidate my efforts or feelings by saying that the way I feel doesn't count or that all I'm trying to do is cause drama. My life experiences have turned me in to a virtual mute unless someone breaks through, and then my emotions rule and I am filled with drama until they finally have enough and leave. You, on the other hand, cannot handle the drama of others. On this point, due to our differing life experiences, we must respectfully agree to disagree.