I'm feeling overwhelmed this morning. I'm worrying about my relationships. The kids were difficult getting up. I suprisingly woke up without a problem. The sadness hit in the shower. I don't like being so emotional. I wish I could be more thick skinned and brush off being abandoned and used. While I'm trying to come to terms with the abrupt end of an affair, without being told it ended, and dealing with my emotions the kids are pushing me to the limit. I'm getting easily irrated with them, then I feel bad for yelling and cussing. Then I cry and they see all this. I am doing to them exactly what my mom did to me and I hate myself for it. I know I need counseling and therapy. I worry about becoming a teacher with my emotions being all over the place and unstable. I feel a pysical pain insided my chest and stomach. I know eventually I will get over the loss of this "relationship", but right now trying to get over and deal with it is nearly impossible because I have had no closure. I know I need to accept I probably will never have closure, but I don't know where to start the healing process.