Hey Mizz,
It sounds to me that you definitely need to be on a daily medication for your anxiety disorder. Benzo's like ativan are only good on a short term basis. If you can't be on SSRI's talk with your doc about an another alternative. But in my own personal opinion it sounds to me like you should be on a daily med for your anxiety. I know what you are going through I really do I can completely relate before I got my medication regimen fine tuned I was experiencing almost all of the things you mentioned. Before medication I was extremely anxious 24/7. I am doing much better now with the help of medications, therapy, and support. Good Luck to you and keep us posted.

Jennifer