i feel so dissatisfied unmotivated overwhelmed. starting to slip into that, "what's the point" place.

my mom is my main support, she's stayed with me for the past year. she's leaving back to her house across the country on saturday. i know she needs to go back, and she's helped me immensely. it just hurts my heart i don't want her to go.

too many changes at one time.. too many... too many... too many...

im trying to be strong. i feel panicky like the winter is coming and im going to be alone. i don't have any wood for the stove. the season changing is feeling like too much change for me right now. i feel impending doom. i rationalize about how a few weeks ago, i felt magical about the seasons changing, in that mood i loved change. but not now, this sucks.