this made me start crying again reading this, i feel for you. when my little girl, now 18, was 9 years old, my friend told me that my daughter told her i yell and get angry a lot. and that i scared her. i got so mad at my friend, but she told me she wasn't trying to judge me, just wanted to let me know what my daughter had said to her.

i wouldn't see that i was scaring my kids. my thinking was, i love them more than anything, and they know that. but that wasn't their experience. i wish i would've known i had bp back then & gotten help.

i agree, it would feel better if the in laws talked to you first. but maybe your anger is scaring everyone more than you realized, like mine was. i hope it all goes ok, and that you find help & support in the hospital, if you go. keep us posted.