The lost post is gone. i couldn't possibly re-create it. it all comes down to noticing symptoms lately, and not being able to handle the emotions coming up in couples therapy without getting all freaky about the marriage. I make myself feel better by searching apartments for myself, but that is not the solution. On one hand I am asking my husband to renew our vows and on the other hand I am looking at apartments online. What a weird way to feel. I have had a couple of feelings of paranoia. That's the worst. I told my ECT provider about that and he didn't change my treatment, so I guess that's good. I talked to my T today and we are working on identifying what I am feeling so that I can fully feel it. (Do I want to go there?) I think I am maybe getting a little manic in my head. Or depressed... or who knows?

What is up with me?