Today is a day I feel that way again-- so empty when others see me as someone having almost the world...

It's been such a long time I haven't come to here (wondering where I have been)... It is getting so warm each day, hardly believe it should still be spring... the air makes you feel difficult to breathe and streets are so crowded, packed with people and cars... so damn hard to find somewhere peaceful... damn commercialization.

Now it is the end of Monday here, definitely not a lovely day for me. Things didn't go well at work, then physically got tired, then mentally. It really affected my efficiency, so I ended up feeling no sense of acheivements. There is nothing in my heart right now, totally empty... Don't know where to start with again so I will go upward...

Funny, people look at me (or sometimes I look at others when they say they are not happy) as someone have most of things, yet still have so much to complain about... Do I really have them? then why don't I see myself... sometimes I could be so clear with what to do when others asked me what they should do(so easy to stand in others' shoes and find solutions), but when with myself, I get so confused, all the reasoning I had for those people, I don't have it for myself, you kow?... nothing seems to work for me anymore...

(sigh...)

Really sorry for bringing negative energy here...

Best,
Toni

[i] What our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.