Firstly, I apologise for the length of this.

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the correct forum, but I have been suffering for years with these symptoms, and for most of this time I thought I was just over sensitive because any time I would show my emotions people would tell me to "wise up" and "stop being silly". I'm a 20 year old female, in a same sex relationship. Originally from Australia, but moved this year to England (for 6 months) then to Northern Ireland, to be with my partner.

The following symptoms have been present since I was about 12 (the earliest time I remember feeling "down"). I grew up with brothers, and all male friends, when I was 12 I relocated to the country where girls weren't friends with boys. It was from this point, that I always felt out of place, and from there my anxiety towards things increased. Symptoms were on the most part, tolerable, whilst in Australia and in England, but since moving to Northern Ireland they have increased dramatically.

I've only recently opened up to my close friends back home about how I'm feeling, and they have since told me they've felt the same anxieties since puberty. It can't be a coincidence that the people I've chosen to keep close, are also exactly the same as me, can it be?

Symptoms:

- Severe fear of being socially embarrassed or making a fool of myself (even when with friends)

- Avoid eye contact and talking to people I don't know (I have to plan what I'm going to say to people for about 5 - 10 minutes, prior to going up and saying it.)

- Bruxism (started 2 years ago)

- Severe nail biting, clammy hands & persistent tapping of foot or hand when in social situations I don't like.

- Restless sleep (waking up constantly, struggle to get to sleep with out music due to other thinking)

- Constantly comparing myself to others, leading to feelings of underachieving and worthlessness.

- Bottling up emotions and refusing to discuss them as I feel my issues are minor and insignificant.

- Avoidance of being social, eg; I won't take public transport alone for fear of getting lost or missing the bus/train, avoids going shopping etc if I'm alone. I should note that I will go out by myself, but it usually follows hours of procrastination and I can't walk in public alone with out listening to my ipod.

- Feelings of being sick, light headedness & loss of appetite prior to either going in public alone, or having to call someone/business that I don't contact frequently.

- Feeling isolated being so far from home.

- Easily aggravated if some one unexpected happens (eg; my partner making plans for us and telling me at the last minute, or friends or family coming to my house with out calling first and many other things)

- Extreme self esteem issues. Feeling like I need to change who I am to fit into society.

- Sudden onset of high temperature or cold chills when I'm upset.

- Random out bursts of crying if some thing minor bothers me.

- Extremely defensive, feeling as though every bad thing some one says is some how directed at me.

- Convincing myself that I know what people are feeling towards me and making judgement on them based on it, even though they've never expressed said feelings.

- Stuttering, saying a different word to what I'm thinking, or saying a sentence backwards when I'm uncomfortable.

Since the symptoms have increased I have gone from 72kgs in weight, to 58kgs with no exercise or dieting (I have actually done less exercise since I'm afraid to go out side).

I've also recently experienced moments of panic and fear at the same time, coupled with minor shortness of breath, high temperatures, crying uncontrollably and playing over the many things that have bothered me.

These "attacks" don't last more than 5 minutes, and I can usually hold it back until I have privacy. Once alone I experience minor shortness of breath, minor tightness in chest and a "lump in throat" feeling.

I either ride it out or crawl up in the fetal position with head between my knees rocking myself. I've noticed, strangely enough, that if I feel like I'm going to break down, that if I play 5 - 10 games of solitaire on my phone I can distract myself enough to calm myself.

I don't know if you would call it a panic attack, as it usually doesn't affect how I go about my life. Eg; I can hold it back until I have my own privacy.

I have always disliked talking about my feelings, because I compare myself to others and think "I've had a pretty easy going life, what have I got to be upset over?". As a teenager I also struggled with thoughts of suicide but never actually did anything about, for fear that people would think worse of me. At the same time though, I still find myself thinking that no one would even notice if I were to leave.

I don't know if I'm just over sensitive and over reacting to small things, but I'm not enjoying feeling this way constantly and want to know if it would be worth it seeking medical advice, maybe consider some sort of therapy?

Any help or reassurance would be amazing! Thank you in advance to any one that takes their time to reply to me.