I totally understand your frustrations Leed.

I get no say in this and it is frustrating for me beyond all imagination. I love my husband and work very hard to show respect and unconditional love. He is learning to do the same. I will NOT be a nag and will not do something negative to give him an "easy way out." If my husband leaves me for the kids, it will NOT be because of me!! I am a wonderful wife and he says that all the time also says he has guilt because I deserve better than him. All I can think to do is to continue to cheerlead him on in positive steps. But I need to get some steps/suggestions from others and try different ideas. I feel so hurt by my husband but I am swallowing my hurt so he can make progress. (which is causing me to have MAJOR anxiety) His boys will not go to counseling so that is out. You hit the nail on the head about his boys being spoiled and acting like brats. My husband is just realizing how bad he messed up in raising them. Guilt is a huge factor here. It wasn't until he met me and my "normal" family (I have 2 kids that accepted my re-marriage) to realize that families aren't supposed to act like his. How do we stop this madness?? Any more suggestions?? Please help!