Hmm, well maybe "being good" means getting yourself out of a very unhappy relationship? Being good doesn't to me anyways mean just doing what others might think is right despite my discomfort. I know you said you have been married a long time 20 yrs? And that you have attended counseling, I don't know how you feel about your husband, so I don't want to make any judgments.

Only you know what is right for you, to me being in an unhappy relationship for so long would very much make me miserable. But that is obviously a big thing for you, and probably isn't going to get better till changes happen either way.

I'm sorry your feeling so horrible right now.