Just as a side note, I really think that having gone through so much and not having a therapist to help me process everything really delayed me getting better and increased my rage. I don't plan on being like this always, but for now I do need someone to help me work through things. And this is good, and I accept this since it is where I am at this point. I am proud of myself, even though I have raged and spewed anger all over the place, for making it through. I fell into the abyss, lived there for awhile, and then climbed my way out. I did do this. I really did. I love what I did.