Lost, I know you are here, but I would like to address the following issue.

I am in a good place at the moment. I am asking the people who are posting and telling lost that she asked the question, so she deserves the response, or that she needs to be ready to listen to what T has to tell her because T is trying to help her become independent, to please hear me out.

I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with anyone here. I think the advice that I spoke above that was given is sound advice, just not for someone who's major fear is abandonment and someone who is not being given a choice and has to stare her greatest fear right in the face. I am sincerely, out of concern for lost and because of what I went through, I am truly requesting that people at least consider what I have to say. And yes, my prior termination experience is involved here, but I am now in a good place and I think that what I say here matters.

Lost does not appear to be in a place to hear what some people are saying. This truly appears to be a crisis, to have a possible abandonment scenario laid out before you and for you to 'feel' that it is inevitable, and that you will have NO control over it, is horrifyingly horrifying. It is a reliving of whatever happened when trust was broken, it is a reliving of somehow having your soul abandoned. This might be why she is escalating right here on PC. Not taking her meds. is a sign that she is not in a good place. If you have to stop taking your meds. to prove how traumatizing this is, I think it is sad, I really do. Lost, I know you are in pain. I wish I could help you.

I am asking that all consider what I am saying. I think all advice was good advice, I just think that some of it was not given at the right time.

Sometimes people post for support and if they don't get what they want to hear it's a problem, I get that. BUT Lost does not appear to be in a place where she can even consider what feels like abandonment because that feeling feels like your whole self is about to face destruction. If I am reading her posts correctly, it is NOT a matter of self-control, it is NOT a matter of her not being a good therapy client and not appreciating that her T is trying to help her be independent. This is a product of being retraumatized, and the fear from that is real and intense.

I will be asking some of you independent - supporters for pointers at a later date, I might be in a place to hear your advice at some point. Anne, I have read some of your posts, and I usually don't understand them because I wasn't at the point that I could hear them. I wasn't choosing not to hear them because it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I had/have defensive structures up that keep me from contemplating your points. I know in the future, what you say will make more sense to me. I think Lost has not yet reached the point where I am, and I am still not fully ready to hear the independent support tips Soon, though. I hope I made sense, I hope I made a difference.