I took my brother to the hospital yesterday for a medical test. He had to have someone with him. He took me to lunch afterwards. He seemed to be being pretty well-behaved. I was glad, and felt kind of good to be with him.

At lunch, he said some odd things. He asked me if my sore neck was a result of "lack of exercise." He has made negative remarks on and off in the past implying that I am lazy. Another thing he said was odd. He said he was surprised that my S/O was still alive seeing as how he had so many medical problems.

I just dismissed this stuff as careless words. I think I am wrong to do that. I think he test people all the time with what I call "button-pushing." It's not even a month since he got arrested for assault.

I was genuinely trying to help him. It seemed like he was trying to be nice. But he's got so much dark and negative in him that I guess it just leaks out no matter what his intentions. I'm not so sure I trust his intentions either.

Anyways, I am awful down thinking about what he said. I know that is foolish of me. It is how I feel though. I don't want to let him keep getting away with sneaking in insults of me, which he has a history of doing. One of his own lawyers told me I was wasting my good intentions on him.

I would appreciate if anyone can help me. Already it's been nice of you all above to try. I am sorry to be back here whining, but I am in tears and feel very bad. I don't know where to turn.