Quote:
Originally Posted by Screenager
I often feel anger towards my T. Most of the time it's irrational, but sometimes there are real reasons for it.
I get angry because I imagine her having a better life than me. I get angry because I know she has a boyfriend and I've always been bitter and alone. Sometimes she'll say certain things and I'll perceive them as smug or inconsiderate, though they probably aren't. I get angry when she doesn't reply to my e-mails, even though she told me she often doesn't have time for that, and I get angry when she doesn't address the topics I e-mailed about in session, even though it's probably up to me to mention things that are on my mind.
Long story short, I'm angry at her a lot and I don't know if she "deserves" it or whatever, but it's not nice to feel so negatively about someone who's supposed to help me and who, all in all, I actually like.
Can I tell her about this? If so, how? It would probably be a weird conversation. I don't want her to think I hate her or that I'm not satisfied with her therapy.
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It's definitely worthwhile to bring up your feelings, thoughts, reactions to your T. It's great information to help you better understand yourself and your perceptions, where they stem from, to understand whether or not they're accurate...and to be more aware of your process, so you can decide whether or not to make a change.
Some of the things that you are angry are totally legit. Feelings just ARE. But I imagine that the anger may be misdirected at T.....if your T tells you that she doesn't have time to respond to emails, and you get angry when she doesn't respond to them, then that's important information for you. You're angry that she set a boundary and it doesn't meet your need. Talking through it may be helpful.
Also, the fact that your T doesn't bring up stuff that you've mentioned in your emails, and that angers you....is also good information. You're angry at T not being directive instead of owning the responsibility of raising the topics that you want to talk about during session. If you need T to raise the topics, then it's up to you to tell your T what you need. If you're too fearful of that, then explore the fear. What are you fearful of? What gets stirred up for you?
So much material to work with, just on this alone....