Hi guys!
We talked about my persecution complex.
T said she'd never heard anyone spell it out so clearly.
Quote:
1. T makes an observation.
2. I receive it as criticism.
3. I generalise it into an accusation.
4. I resist the implication that I am a bad person.
5. I gather evidence that I am not a bad person.
6. I thereby refute the accusation.
7. This proves that T is wrong.
8. This discredits the observation.
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I said I was sad
that it had taken nearly ten years to work this out.
T said (
gasp!) that it wouldn't have taken so long if she had been a better therapist.
I challenged her on the "faint praise" thing. I wanted her to be more fulsome
in her praise. She said she wasn't going to. I said I could see that, but I was sad
about it. "I am doing something incredibly difficult and I need all the encouragement I can get." And I still think she is wrong.
On retrospect, she is good at praising for results
, but to me, that doesn't make up for the lack of encouragement on the way.
We also talked about fatherhood, but I'll post that elsewhere if I have the time.