Turn it around on him. I know you're scared of being on your own, but I truely believe that the stress he's putting you through is 10x worse than being alone. That isn't what "love" should be like.

Stop paying for things for him, especially the drugs. Save that money to spend on yourself and your children, surely, they're more in need of it. Ask him why you should pay for things for him if he doesn't want to be seen with you and thinks that you embarass him. Tell him that he can buy his own drugs and own things when he gets a job. Don't be afraid of his "consequences" or "drama."

You're so strong, lost84, and you should give yourself credit for it. The financial support is there for you and for your children, don't let him leech off of you. You have your friends to support you, which I'm sure would be more than happy to be there for you if you weren't letting your partner stand in the way. Allow your children to learn not to allow others to disrespect them.