Yep, Canacrip, you need to talk to your wife.

Have her sit down beside you, take her hands and hold them gently. Then tell her to stop checking behind you on everything. If there is something that you need help with, tell her that you will let her know. Been there, done that!

Her effort is to be as helpful as she can be; she's overdoing it, and it's bothersome for both of you. If she knows that you don't like it and would prefer that she not do it, she will stop it, and you'll both be more relaxed, free, and open with each other.

People don't really mean to be intrusive and rude; often, they do it under the misguided idea that they must be superhuman to help their dearest and nearest one.

Disabled and handicapped people prefer to do as much as they can for themselves. It weakens everybody for one to be the patient and the other to be the need-supplier. Both of you need to be supporting each other as independently as possible.

My husband finally said to me, "if I need your help, I'll ask you." That was the greatest relief for both of us. When the time came that he needed me, he called out to me to come to his side. So it does work if managed gently.

Feel good about yourself.

Genetic