George H. - thank you. It does help an awful lot to read your reply. I don't have many people in my life. I'm kind of alone a lot with no one to bounce things off of. So validation from PC members nice enough to care means a lot. It may seem like you're just telling me what I already know, but it's not. I have this tendency to make excuses for others to a point that probably is too far, and I don't have a confident idea of where I have a right to draw the line. I always cultivated a philosophy of "It's best to be charitable." My brother knows me and I think he takes advantage of me. I'm starting to think he gets some sick satisfaction out of messing with my mind. I am calming down today and trying to not let this dominate my thoughts. I appreciate the reinforcement. I'm so lacking in a sense of what is appropriate that I didn't even come up with the suspicion that he was being rude until hours after being with him. I just knew I felt bad and tried to figure out why.

TerryL - I'm not sure about what to tell my brother. Maybe it seems like I'm making this more complicated than it is, but here's why: My brother has a history of massive problems in coping with life. He is diagnosed with psych disorders. He is also capable of being mean and nasty. And I don't think the latter is an automatic product of the former. But that seems to be the premise he thinks excuses everything. If I tell him that his remarks upset me, I think he will be very gratified. I think he loves to upset people. So I'm confused about how to interact with him. I have two sisters who simply will NOT interact with him. They wrote him off long ago, and I have no problem with them deciding that. They live far away. I think I will say something to him. Yesterday, I overworked my brain on it and couldn't decide what would be the appropriate thing to say. He absolutely will not allow anyone to give him negative feedback. He will go into a tantrum and walk away. That would be no loss. Mainly, I guess I'm not sure if he was just being careless, or meant to be unkind. That happens to me a lot with other people to. Like - my neighbor has said to me that when she seems my blinds and curtains drawn, then she says to herself that "Rose is crazy again." (alluding to my recurrent episodes of depression.) The saying goes, "You teach people how to treat you." I seem to attract put-downs, and I do suspect it has something to do with me letting people think that "You can get away with saying anything to Rose." Somehow, I have to turn that around. Here at PC, I feel respected and kindly treated. I really appreciate the supportive feedback.

James0805 - thank you. I'm sorry for what you are experiencing and I appreciate the empathy. Sometimes being alone is not the worst thing. I'm not ready to give up on having some relationships. I do think I want to stop investing in bad ones, or at least discourage bad behaviour toward me.

Thanks everyone. With not working, I am alone so much. How to relate to people seems like a hard thing for me to figure out. I miss having a job.

I want to come out of my shell IRL. I know that won't be painless, but I want to not be walking around wounded all the time. I take stuff too seriously, sometimes.

Maybe the next time my brother says something that I believe is rude, I'll simply say, "I feel offended by that remark." I can leave it right there - short and simple - and he can figure out what he wants to say, or do, next. If his move is to get more nasty, then I can disengage and MOVE ON with better uses of my time, thought and energy.