I don't know. One time she asked me if I was depressed and I told her no. And then I said but even if I was I would never tell. That was when our relationship was better....Sometimes everything I do is trying to anger her or is a lie..... You know what..... I don't even care any more..... My whole existence is a lie. I don't even know why I was born. Just to ruin people's lives?! I think it's time I quit.... Once and for all.... I have nothing to look for in life any way....I lied to myself thinking that I was going to start my own band... I'm a total failure