I find your statement about boundaries above very curious, Rainbow. Personally I am very aware when someone breaches my boundaries, whether that be by stepping into my personal space uninvited or being instrusive on an emotional level. I wonder if this lack of awareness of personal boundaries might have something to do with the way your mom parented you - you have told us many times that she was involved in everything you did, wanted to know everything, and was 'always there', etc. I had the impression from your descriptions of your mom's relationship with you that she didn't respect your boundaries and was rather 'enmeshed' with you.

I wonder then if that is related to you shutting *her* out. Remember how you often didn't want to tell her things - sometimes even about important things like injuries! And wasn't there a time when you were selectively mute and didn't talk at all? Could those things perhaps be your way of setting up your own boundary between yourself and others, kind of like saying "I am not going to let you into my space"?

Does any of this relate to who you want to know everything about your T, and *you* feel when she sets a boundary and doesn't want to share?