Welcome!
First of all, none of us can tell you for sure whether you have BPD or not, but you are always welcome. Read through current posts and start threads of your own. They will help you either negate the possibility or convince you for sure that you are. Look particularily at the "You know your're BPD when...." thread but any of them should help.

Many, many of us have been misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed by therapists. There ARE some good therapists out there, but BPD has a bit of a stigma. A lot of therapsits do not understand BPD or look at it as an "incurable" disorder because it cannot be treated in conventional means...drugs can control some of the symptoms of BPD, but do absolutely nothing to help BPD itself. Also, traditional "talk" therapy often doesn't have the desired results. Also, a lot of health insurances refuse to cover it so it sometimes backs the therapist in a corner. As you read through the threads, you'll find case after case of people feeling like you....the therapist MUST have known but never said anything....

Good luck in your search to figure things out. We'll help you in your search in any way that we can. One thing I can say for certain; if you ARE BPD as you feel you are, you ARE NOT alone. BPD and the feeling of dealing with things without anyone "getting it" contributes greatly to the anxiety and depression. That is something that we can offer....companionship in fighting a damning disorder.