My husband's boys (ages 16, 22, 24) are making my husband choose between me (new wife of 3 years) or them. (I have never met his boys nor talked with them-out of respect for their feelings and hoping in time they change their minds and welcome me) My husband is torn because his boys are now having major emotional issues (one is on drugs) and if he chooses me, he has to live with the guilt of not being there for them because they will disown him. If he chooses them, he lives with leaving the woman he loves and wants to grow old with. What should he do? Who comes first? Children? Wife? Are their steps to fix this so he can have the best of both worlds?