When I am in my worst depression I cannot really accept comfort or care from others very well. My last really bad bout happened when life was going really well from an external standpoint. My internal experience however was very different. I perceived that people did not like me, I was crying all the time, I was very unhappy and it was all the depression coloring my reality.
I can certainly understand that feeling of it being a sham and also the feeling of aloneness even when surrounded by people who care about me. You aren't alone and it can get better! I'm glad you are here and hope to hear more from you!
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dailyhealing
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller
Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.