Rebel...... first off Welcome to PC. You can call me Mel. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I say i am a survivor because I am here! I survived the abuse. You said in your post that if it had just happened as a child, then you could figure out what normal is, that that was then, this is now. it isnt that easy.
Abuse, no matter how small or insignificant, is still abuse..any abuse is bad.. and yes abuse is traumatizing. Abuse can happen just one time and someone may spend a lifetime trying to figure out why it bothers them so.

coming out of denial and accepting that yes you were in fact abused, is very hard. Talking about it to others is even harder..

I know when i first started talking about my abuse, i wouldnt tell the whole story because i was afraid of what someone else might think about me. But the more i talk about it, the more i realize why it is that I do/have done some of the things that i do/have done.
there are times, i dont even realize when i do it, that i will talk in a different voice.... a young girls voice..i only know this because my husband tells me i do it... he understands thank goodness....

You may not feel comfortable talking about your abuse or your childhood right now.. that is ok... but know this..... there is a great group of people here that have been through some really rough times... i came here thinking i would never find anyone that would understand how i felt inside..... but i did.... they way you feel is more common than you think.....

sorry about the long post..... pm me if you ever need a shoulder ok