My Support Forums - View Single Post

Leed · Sep 27, 2012, 11:15 PM

Days of Healing Days of Joy .......................Sept. 28

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step Nine of Alcoholics Anonymous

Step Eight was the planning phase of the action we are called to take in Step Nine. Having prepared ourselves by making a list of all the persons we have harmed, we are now ready to mobilize. It's time to make contact, to acknowledge what we've done, and to say we're sorry. The purpose is not to grovel, but to take greater responsibility for our own lives.

Many adult children have found freedom at the moment they surrendered guilt by admittiing wrong. Whether the admission was well received or not, whether the response of the other was appropriate or not, the sheer willingness to face up to reality was enough to unlock the shackles of the past.

When direct amends are impossible, the wisdom of the program tells us to make amends in our own hearts. Again, the upshot of Step Nine has much less to do with others than it does with our own willingness to do what it takes to recover.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My Higher Power gives me the courage to acknowledge my responsibility for hurting others.

Step Eight terrified me, as I had to make the list of everyone I had harmed and that list seemed to grow the longer I thought about it.

I couldn't believe some of the things I remembered I had done in my 20 year drinking career that hurt or may have hurt someone else. I'm sure my friends would have considered my condition but they were still deserving of an apology, regardless of how many years had passed. The thought terrified me, but at the same time I looked forward to it, as a sort of cleansing of my soul -- I had felt "soul-less" for so long that perhaps the soul would re-enter the body should I make these apologies.

Step Nine, I did make ALL the apologies that I was able to. Some people had died, and some had moved and I couldn't find them. But every single apology was met with wonderful results -- along with congratulations on being sober and best wishes for continued sobriety! I was astounded at the grace with which everyone accepted my apologies. I was truly blessed and humbled.