Thanks. I know you're right and this NEEDS to be talked about, desperately. Me and my former T did some work on the ending but we didn't have the time to do so in depth because it was largely unplanned. Plus I didn't have strong transference towards her and I do with current T. Not only is this about letting go of T, but the need for a mother and my expectations. And all the other losses I've had.

In a way the proper gruelling work is just beginning but I don't want to face it. It will take me out of my comfort zone to a massive extent.