Hi lost84 - i know the thought of being alone, especially with children, isn't all that appealing but i don't think you will be able to continue in the current situation for much longer. Either his abuse will get worse or your spirit will break and then things could get very messy indeed. Could he be removed from the family home? If this isn't an option is there a member of your family who you could stay with - or a friend perhaps? You need space so that you can decide what it is you want to do. It sounds to me like even with help this man isn't interested in changing so as hard as it will be perhaps removing him from the picture and focusing on what you want out of life is the better option. I would certainly stop paying for the drugs etc - this will only exacerbate your husbands behaviour and surely that money could be put to better use? Once your children get older and go to school you can focus on getting back to work/retraining and start reclaiming your life as your own. I hope this situation resolves positively for you. All the best.