Hi and im still here - If you don't intend on having an open relationship im assuming that you are both concerned that your friends/families/etc will disapprove. If you can't express your love openly i don't see the point in pursuing a 'secret' relationship - this will only cause more strain and tension and should you not be able to legally marry you will only feel worse for having got to know each other so well. I would certainly seek counselling for these feelings - you need support for whatever action you might take. Will your family disown you if they find out? Will you be forced to move out? These are all outcomes i would take into consideration. Whatever you decide to do please be sure of what you both feel for each other - if you do make your love known and the reaction is less than positive there will be no going back...