Quote:
Originally Posted by button30
I am really upset and confused right now, I mean I was just starting to real feel comfortable with who I am for the first time in my life. I was just accept my sexuality when t threw a spanner in the works on our last session. T said maybe you are not gay button, it appears to me that you crave closeness around other female's because you were neglected by your mother, she said based on evidence she has compiled from observations of gay female clients they all have the same problem, they were severely neglected by their mom's. She said there have been no studies on this it was just her own theory.
Now I am more confused than ever, I feel like my identity has been taken away again. T said because I kept saying if I could be any other way I would that this is because I still doubt myself! She said that once a gay comes out they start accept themselves but I can't and I refuse to accept myself because she thinks I am lying to myself!
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Okay, I'm gay. I am out and proud NOW, but it didn't happen over night. Coming out and being honest with yourself is only the FIRST step. Once I was out.. I still thought about going back in. I didn't want to tell my whole family and all of my friends, and be seen differently because having had tons of boyfriends, me coming out was a shock to just about everyone.. and I just wanted to live a "regular" life. But with years of working on myself and support from some gay friends, I became confident in who i am and have fully accepted my identity as a lesbian. So that 2nd part is just ridiculous.. It takes some people decades to fully accept that identity (look at people who are married for 40 years then come out as gay)
The first part is also ridiculous. I won't combat that with anecdotal evidence of my own.. but I will say... me being gay is not just closeness to women.. it's wanting to sleep with them too LOL And also having no desire to sleep with men... at all. And I didn't realize this until I fell in love.. with a girl.. and my whole world turned upside down. Coming out is hard.. if you need to chat.. I'm here! :-)
