Elliemay, that has helped so much. Thank you. What you say is all relevant for me too.

I need to hear T say that I don't have to leave until I'm ready. But then I have to trust that I will be ready at some point.

You're right too about feeling that good always turns into bad. I like the thought that they are separate things and one doesn't lead to the other.

I know I'll have to tell T at some point as the feelings will leak into the sessions anyway and T will know. I wouldn't be surprised if she has guessed already.