well done for acknowledging the fact you need the help, most alcoholics deny it.

after being an alcoholic for so long, in your case, giving up is going to be so hard, but let me ask you this...how far does it need to get before you realise you need to stop...your family may seem as though they dont care, but how would they feel seeing you on your deathbed? i dont mean to be nasty or harsh, and i hope i havent come across that way. its just that i lost my mum to alcohol, and it devastating, she died when i was 14. i remember on her deathbed she turned to me and said "im so scared, i love you" and those were her last words to me, her last words to my brother were "if i make it through this, im going to stop, i promise", she never did make it through.

the reason im telling you this is to try and let you understand the effects it has on others around you. the fact that your famiy dont discuss is probably due to the fact they cant bare to talk about it as they are scared of your reaction, have you tried starting the conversation with them? dont let it get too far before you decide to stop, because it might just be too late. and nobody wants that.

im sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard for you. im here if you ever need a chat ok.

you are in my thoughts my friend. take care of yourself.