Thanks everyone.

My insurance offers 3 free visits to mental health (psychologist) a year. I'm going to start there. I've done it every year so far. The last one I had was really good but she retired. I have been trying to find one that works with my schedule on the list they give me. Not all of them have the right hours, etc.

A pdoc for me would be $80 per visit and that's too much right now. But if I at least get in to a psychologist I think that's a start anyway.

I can't take time off work due to my other health issues. I already have 0 FML from when I had the baby. I'm going to be taking more time when I have my surgery. It isn't the hospital that's screwing me on that, it's the GI surgeons. My general surgeon is working to get me admitted to the hospital to have the surgery. I'm really scared about it all. But he said it isn't safe for me to wait until December when I will have $600.

I will look into that folate thing, genetic. I should probably be taking vitamins anyway, to help with my other issues and get healthier all around.

Like what I mean about the paranoia thing, when I was in the hospital it would take a long time for a nurse to come in and I would look at my husband and say "they are letting me sit here because I still owe money from having the baby, they're doing it on purpose." Then another thing recently a co-worker's wife is having a baby and he said her third trimester ultra-sound her baby is the same weight as my youngest, which I had to have a c-section. So I was going on about how the doctor lied and I didn't need to have a c-section, (this is the lady's first baby and I'd already had a previous c-section.) Then the neighbors are selling their house and everytime the realtor is there showing it I just know the people all are making fun of me if I get home and they are outside, and saying bad stuff about us. I just keep thinking that realtor is going to do something to our house or the family, and it freaks me out.... so I was telling my husband and that's why he said I am all about conspiracy theories all of a sudden and freaking him out because I'm not normally like that.