miserable diabolically mixed up twit!....

but nothing that unusual

depression:....I'm obsessed with sadness and the broken things in my life

confusion :....distracted by the inability to classify any of my depression...in a BIG way!...and the small things just urge me to enlarge them

pain :....I sit badly, walk too fast, stand all wrong tense and sleep so awkward all the excess bad energy in my mind makes my body do weird things....animal welfare should visit me and put me in a cage.

joy :....it is awesome when it arrives and I extend it to the limit, somehow?...and surreal emptiness enslaves me like a punishment after.

relationships :...I consider myself unsuitable for human consumption and force-fed maximum intimacy rations in solitary confinement.

am I a victim of this modern world?...or all the worlds ancient medieval and current just the same as the millions of people who have already died and some well and likely most in a bad way!
....like maybe I will... a consequence of my own foolishness?....and therefore my disgusting weaknesses?

a human slave to pleasures...that are spiritually impossible to sustain.

not with a good heart anyway!....and even thats a complaint!...sure mine is hard but I can still get upset?...what the F?

....and yet!

if I can continue to complain?.....then I am justified!...

I am addicted to problems