First, Jess.... lots of hugs... I know what it feels like to need them, just to connect with another caring human..... ((((((Jess))))).

Second, you ask why this is happening to you again? Have you considered that you might be reacting to the stress of your college interview tomorrow?? It is quite understandable if you were really scared of that, especially if there is some big outcome hanging on the result. Maybe you are having a panic attack?? They can be horribly worrying episodes in themselves, when you can feel terribly out of control and lost.....

I don't know your family situation, of course, but it is sad that you think they hate you. True, it doesn't sound like you have a very supportive family atmosphere but maybe they just don't know how to deal with your depression and think that letting you cry alone is the best thing they can do? Yes, this is warped thinking, but unless one has had depression, how can one understand what it feels like? Lots of people are just frightened to do the wrong thing - so do nothing. I know that's all my family ever did.... just let me cry, or get frustrated because I couldn't 'pull myself together'. If only they realised how alone that made me feel - like you - but please consider that maybe they don't hate you after all - maybe they are just inconsiderate .

Dont hate yourself for 'letting the depression back in'.... it is not something you have done, it just happens.... perhaps as a result of stress or just brain chemistry again. You may have been fine, and got discharged at the time, but some people have to take these meds on and off, or even all their life. Maybe you need another round of them. Can you call your GP and have a chat?

more ((((( hugs))))...