Thank you for the affirmation. I don't think meds are an option for me. I love my job and the two are incompatible. They've never worked anyway, I spent years feeling like a quinea pig. I'm totally isolating myself, hiding from everyone every chance I get. I got a new job that's going to send me home every weekend and I'm terrified that my family will really see what a mess I am. I was an outcast amongst them for so long because I couldn't control my moods, they finally respect me I don't want to lose that. All I have is my family, I've isolated so much I have one real friend in the world and she lives a thousand miles from me.