To be honest, it does sound as though your T has a very clear agenda. It sounds like she is homophobic (maybe she doesn't even realize it) and that her personal discomfort is pushing her to "explain away" anything you tell her that affirms your lived reality as a woman who is attracted to and has had relationships with other women. It sounds as though she thinks beting heterosexual is "better" and, therefore, she would prefer to think that you are not gay. She would like to "help" you become "not gay." Hence, she is suggesting to you that you are not gay (rather than listening to what you report about yourself). It would be one thing if YOU told her "You know, I'm wondering if maybe I'm not gay." Then, of course, that should be explored. But, from what you've shared, it was HER who had this relevation and shared it with you. That's imporper form for a therapist, period-- because it is her pushing her suggestion on you. So, it sounds like rather than listening to you tell her that you have never felt sexual desire for men and, in fact, you were in love with your female partner for 7 years, and helping you heal from your break-up and realize that none of the problems you had in that relationship stemmed from the fact that you were both female (there was cheating, that's not a "gay" problem), and help you overcome your internal homophobia and accept what you have said is your sexual identity (gay/lesbain), she is instead suggesting that perhaps you are not in fact gay, that you were confused all of that time and were not actually romantically in love with your ex, and eventhough you feel no sexual desire for men, you actually do and don't know it because you're not gay. Hence, she is pushing her agenda by working to create possible theories as to why you are not gay, despite strong evidence in your history to the contrary (well, some gay female clients in therapy were neglected by their moms! Really! People in therapy had probelms with their moms! No way! What a coincidence! And, clearly, none of my straight clients were neglected by their moms!)