I understand that kids would need therapy but your missing the point. It is financially devestating on both of you not to mention the kids. Therapy is expensive have you realized she is working on a small income. She isn't staying with him just for the sake of the kids but for financial reasons. Yes he will have to pay for some childsupport and there are ways to work with food stamps, medicad, heating assistance, etc. but they never cover everything. You can struggle as well as your kids. I believe if they create an enviornment that works to resolve some of their financial problems then attack the marrital problems even if it is to move apart their may be less tension for all of them. The thing I learned the most from all that I went through is to try to be calm and rational. You can't continue blaming him anymore than he is blaming you. Start acting maturely and behave like you both have made mistakes and work to improve what went wrong not fight till you both loose.