I'm so unbelivebly sad right now. I've just been crying on and off for the last couple of hours. I never cry usually I just hold everything it but I'm just so sad and angry and lonely and I don't know what to do.

I'm trying to change things and I'm trying to finally do something with my life but it's so hard. For the last couple of months I've started exercising and eating healthier to lose the bit of weight I have put on due to excessive emotional eating. It's hard and I'm slowly getting there. I'm trying so hard to motivate myself to keep going.

I'm still trying to find a job and I had my first job interview the other day. I really wanted the job because it's very flexible and it doesn't seem that hard of a job to start out with but I haven't heard anything back and I'm afraid I haven't got it. I need this job. I haven't had money of my own for over a year and it's such a struggle. My mum is fed up with giving me money and I dread going to her to ask for it.

I've had to unwilling sign up to get job seeking benefits because I just can't stand this anymore but now I'm unable to get the money as my bank closed my bank account due to being in debt and I have no other account. It's so fustrating. I feel like such a failure.

I'm so scared the benefit people will make me do a job I don't want to though. I've always been so petrified of working and getting my first job. Especially a full time one. I don't think I'd be able to do it.

I'm just fed up and I wish there was a way out. I just want to give up and go to bed and not get back out again. I'm so tired and I haven't got the energy for this.

I've got no one to talk to anymore. I haven't really got any friends anymore. The last few friends I had have moved on. I've tried to talk to them a couple of times but I just don't think they care anymore. I left it too late. Now I'm alone.

I want help but I don't. I could never afford it anyway. The last time I went to a councillor in college last year was terrible anyway. I saw her for about 6 months and didn't get anywhere at all. I spent most of the time just staring at the carpet to be honest. It didn't help one bit.

I tried going to the doctors once before as well. I think I talked about that on here last year.. but that never got anywhere either. I couldn't even tell him about how I was feeling he just guessed. He just gave me a number for some councilling group but I was too scared to call it and never did.

All I want someone to talk to about everything though and to make me feel better and I just need a way out of this.

All I've done on this site is ramble pointlessly about my problems and I know it's getting me nowhere but I'm too scared to do anything else.