sorry you're depressed hun it is part of life, but worse for bipolar person. we really do feel things more intensely, just how it is, meds only change it so much. seems for me, if i wait it out (careful not to self destruct on alcohol or anything, please be safe), ride it out like the choppy surf, like a ****** wave, then eventually some energy level, hope, aspirations do return. you kind of have been rapid cycling, so the good feelings could be back sooner than you think. hang in there buddy