Take one day, one minute, at a time. That is all any of us can do. If you haven't started any kind of DBT training, you may want to think about it. If you need info, let me know. We also have a chat going on around 11 or midnight your time tomorrow night that's you're welcome to attend, and there's a forum of sexual abuse that would be worth visiting. Just know that you're not alone in your feelings. It's all we can offer for certain, but it will hopefully help. Take care and write as much and as often as you need to. Use this site to help.