Oh, nightsky, I'm devastated for you--yet I so understand how it could happen, knowing the history you two have. And he's been your therapist for so long ... if there is anyone I'd trust to learn from his mistakes and not to violates that trust again--

Yes, in your place I probably would have been contemplating sui also. That, in context, makes sense to wonder about. I would certainly be wanting to hide in my cave, pull the sheets over my head and sleep until the end of the world. Short of that, I'd be going for long walks on the beach and asking my gut which I could handle better: turning my back on him, never knowing? or trusting again, and being wrong?

You are so, so strong to be walking upright, still putting coherent sentences together. I'm glad you're posting. I admire you to continue on your path. This is your life, and you keep right on living it, nightsky. You are going to get beyond this ... at that point, you will make sense of why this man has so intruded and caused you all this stumbling. You will grow, but my--it must be a huge & important Life Lesson for all you are suffering.

We are here for you. You do have friends. * gentle hugs, as needed *
Roadie