(((((((((Nighsky)))))))))
I was just thinking about you the other day. I was hoping that everything was going well for you. I wish your posting here was with better news. It hurts so much to reach out and trust and then be hurt when you open up. I am so sorry this keeps happening. I hope you can find a way through this. However that may be. It sounds like you are dealing with it better than you would have in the past. And that is a major achievement for you, not giving in to negative coping strategies.. Something to be proud of!
We are always here for you.