Thanks, earthmamma, for helping me to become aware. I'm not sure what I'm feeling.

I do feel badly that I didn't respond to your original post - other than the hug. I am glad that you gained some awareness and that you have closeness with your T.

I think it kinda hit home for me what I lacked in my relationship with my parents, and it makes me sad. I know that T will not be able to fill that void - nor do I believe I would allow myself to feel vulnerable enough to even want that. I guess that's just where I am in my journey. I don't want to feel that kind of pain. Always in a state of denial. *sigh*

I appreciated the way you addressed this with me, earthmamma. It was helpful.