Today was fine. Not great, not horrible. Fine. That's how most of my days are. I keep thinking that I'm making this bout of depression up. Like it's all in my head. Nothing major has happened to start this. And it took me a while to see it for what it was. When I take a bath, I lay in there the whole time plotting how I should fall to hurt myself. I feel so bad on the inside I feel like I need to see something on the outside. That's the logic that started me on the road to self injury years ago. I don't want to go back there. That's probably my worst fear.... So, a "fine" day shouldn't bother me, right?