Have you examined your childhood experiences? I have always believed they are often the reason for many of our issues. I hope that you will consider therapy on the weekends or whenever you can as dailyhealing has suggested. I have had therapy by phone. (my T was in another country) Many Ts offer that although I think they prefer a first session face-to-face but I am sure they would try to accommodate you. I really hope you will find the peace and happiness you deserve. Don't give up and please post as often as you need. we are listening.