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Hey IgnoranceIsBliss,
I have been diagnosised 2 years next month and I am STILL struggling with accepting my illness. My Mania shoots up constantly cause I stop and re-start my meds like a rollercoaster. I am struggling to accept when I am ill and how to prevent it. I am struggling with the fact I take meds and I struggle with the fact the meds DO make me feel better (hate to admit it)
*I had my Support Worker yesterday and she is concerned about me as I was anxious and fidgety a lot more than normal. (She needs to establish if it is cause I am ill or if I it is cause I became an Auntie last week) I lied to her and said I was fine. I wasn't. I lied to her and said I have been taking my meds, when I haven't. I was up in total 36 hours yesterday no sleep at all Thursday night and was up straight through till 10pm on Friday night. She knows I was awake and didn't sleep and I said I took my meds and they didn't work..... I didn't take them and I have been lying to her.
My Support Worker has asked me what do I tell myself when I take my meds.... I don't say anything to be honest.
I NEED TO ACCEPT MY BIPOLAR DIAGNOSIS. I AM NOT THE ILLNESS. BUT TO ME I AM. I LOST MY JOB, MY LIFE, MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF IT AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT/WHO I AM.
Sorry if this isn't helpful
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