Dear Sujin,

Thank you for your response and your details of your own experience, , it really helps. I just cannot get a handle on what has happened to me as its not the text book signs of emotional abuse.

Obviously I am an imperfect human, we all are and sometimes provoke and the story I have written is only my frame of reference on things.

I just want to be aware of what is him and what is me. If and when I move on I must ensure I don't bring any more destructive behaviour into another relationship.

Our sex issue for example, he says he has checked with two therapists an they both say me telling him I had slept with my last boyfriend on the first night and then not done the same with him is my issue, I was humilating him. I just don't know. I know the last time I did this it didn't work out and wasn't a good idea, because I liked him I wanted to wait. Is this really messed up? I am guilty of psyhcologically damaging him?

thank you anyone for reading and replying to this.

xx